Once in a while when I’m updating my phone’s apps, I’ll idly click over to an app’s Play Store page and skim it. No real reason.

I don’t do this every time, and I’m already in the habit of skimming past obvious algo-slop that pretends to be informative, so I hadn’t paid much attention to the Play Store’s version of “AI overview,” which has been an antifeature on the app – not the desktop or mobile web pages, at the time of writing, just in the app – for months.

It’s even easier to skip over because (again, at the time of writing) it’s presented in accordion format, so only the questions ever take up screen space unless I click on them.

This time, though, one of the accordion prompts caught my eye:

What’s the benefit of upgrading to a paid version or making in-app purchases?

There isn’t one and there aren’t any.

I’m not even opposed to the idea, what with the number of complaints I’ve heard lately about Mozilla’s suspect money-making moves. Such as:

• Onerep, a data broker that disguised itself as a privacy tool
• Mozilla’s own PPA, an adtech tracking tool that, again, bills itself as a privacy feature because Mozilla tracking you is somehow less abusable than other corps tracking you
• The new-tab AccuWeather widget and its implied location tracking, which users can hide and which supposedly stops Mozilla gathering your IP-based location data

So if they offered a $5 Firefox Supporter Edition or something that let users with a spare few bucks contribute to Firefox’s developemt directly – without having to hunt down the Mozilla Foundation’s donate page – I would at least consider it. And if the main reason I’d hesitate is a trust issue, I’d rather give them $5 through Google than $5 and my debit card number.

Anyway, I clicked on that prompt, and:

2. It’s fast. Firefox is reported to be the fastest browser when it comes to download speed. 3. It’s private. Firefox has private browsing and tracking protection that allows users to browse without getting traced. 4. It’s customizable. Firefox offers an extensive range of add-ons and extensions that allow you to personalize your browser with additional features and functionalities.¹

I can’t help but notice that the “answer” doesn’t actually answer the question. I also can’t help but notice that the number 1 reason is missing, possibly because the number 1 reason the AI came up with was “it’s free” and that wouldn’t fit the prompt.

Maybe an AI model that believes there are only 1,000-odd atoms in the universe doesn’t actually know a damn thing and can barely manage to coherently regurgitate scraped text.

In summary, Google’s AI sucks in general, and in this specific instance it’s proven to be actively misleading. Luckily, Play Store pages have room for app devs to maybe describe their offerings accurately…

1. Parts of this ad copy seemed familiar to me. A search didn’t immediately turn up a single source for Firefox being “fast,” “private,” and “customizable,” though Mozilla calls Firefox two of those things on the Play Store itself.