I eventually set my home wifi to “metered connection” in Windows because that was the most effective way I had available to control the unpredictable flow of bandwidth-eating, program-mangling, and potentially machine-bricking Windows “updates,” and I’m still a bit salty about how Microsoft used to keep reinstalling Candy Crush Soda Saga on the machine I allegedly owned.

So you can probably imagine how hard I cringed at the headline “Microsoft wants Windows to update all software on your PC.”

On further reflection, I’m still cringing. I don’t entirely trust Microsoft to update its own garbage; why the fuck would I trust them to update everything else? And would I be able to update anything at all without upening the floodgates and helplessly accepting all Windows update bugs again?

That wifi will likely stay flagged as “metered” for the foreseeable future.