I did not expect, when I scanned the socials on my lunch break this afternoon, to learn that the United States had invaded Venezuela and kidnapped its president.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, though; I’m pretty sure Trump stopped talking (as much) shit about annexing Greenland only because someone told him America isn’t the only NATO country with nukes. So instead he’s threatening Central and South America and the Caribbean, one country after another (he’s already making growling noises at Mexico, Colombia, and Cuba) and hoping that Putin and Xi don’t get offended enough to interfere.

I’m also not surprised by the indictment. It’s roughly the same pretext that Bush Senior used in Panama, and since I don’t know much more than the average man-on-the-street about the Venezuelan government, I guess it might even accidentally be true. I tend to just assume that heads of state are assholes…

(Drug trafficking, terrorism, and weapons charges? At least two-thirds of that would apply to every American president in my lifetime.)

I’m only a little surprised that the Assclown didn’t get some tame congresscrooks to write him a new AUMF; he has a similar opinion on the separation of powers as Emperor Palpatine.

The administration’s excuse for not getting congressional approval for their war was that they didn’t want to risk Maduro being forewarned by leaks. That didn’t stop some insider from making a cool six figures on Polymarket, though. And a bunch of Wall Street types were suspiciously instantly ready to seek out investment opportunities in Trump’s new colony…

…which they might be disappointed by. Venezuela has a population of about 30 million; whatever they think of Maduro, very few will welcome colonization or the quislings, carpetbaggers, and robber barons Trump will inevitably try to install as viceroys. And the American military has a… mixed record as an occupational force.