So now the Department of War on America… no, not DHS, the other one… no, not DOJ, the other one… no, not the entire federal govermnent… just stop guessing. The Department of Defense is seizing control of the military-centric newspaper Stars and Stripes. A spokesman explained: “It will focus on warfighting, weapons systems, fitness, lethality, survivability and ALL THINGS MILITARY. No more repurposed DC gossip columns; no more Associated Press reprints.”

Oh, and they’re also screening new Stars and Stripes hires to ensure they’re loyal to the Assclown, because of course they fucking are.

And I wondered what their motive was. Their primary motive, I mean, because they’ve given us several to choose from.

1. Someone is still annoyed about the AP not licking enough ass in general and, more specifically, not immediately misnaming the Gulf of Mexico on demand.
2. Some of that “DC gossip” hit a nerve.
3. The spokesdickhead also said they’d be “refocus[ing] its content away from woke distractions,” and “anti-woke” is apparently now code for “MAGA propaganda”…¹

Of those, I consider #1 the least likely, because the Gulf of Mexico thing is Trump’s personal obsession and this looks more like Hegseth’s idea. #2 is possible – I don’t read much Stars and Stripes² and don’t know which pols or bureaucrats its writers might have embarrassed lately – but I’m going to assume #3 for the time being, because it’s the one that worries me.

Think about it. The military is as full of fuckheads as any other government agency, but it’s also culturally conservative in ways that have hampered Team Trump’s plans. Remember the half-assedness of the birthday parade, and the distinct lack of vigor they brought to the occupation of LA? The average military mind is still set in a decade when goose-stepping and random thuggery were what America’s enemies did, not America’s rulers.

If that average military mind is marinated in MAGA propaganda for a few years, though, maybe that’ll change.

 

Or maybe not. Speaking of half-assedness, Stars and Stripes’ publisher and its editor in chief have both said they first heard about this from the spokesdickhead’s social media, which probably means the takeover will be as orderly as a carload of small dogs and as effective as DOGE.

Maybe I haven’t lost all hope after all.

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1. I’m disappointed that “MAGAganda” is a real word in another language, and that its meaning is entirely unfit for use here.
2. At time of writing I have thousands of archived news articles, of which three are from Stars and Stripes.