I heard there’s an official White House mobile app now.

So I looked at the White House’s sales pitch for the thing and, after I got over the actual White House shilling a newsletter…

…I saw the feature list and (once again) wondered why even the most mega of a politician’s megafans would install an app like this, when they’d have had to go well out of their way to not have its advertised capabilities on their phones already.

Receive breaking news alerts on major announcements, executive actions, and other key priorities.

That’s Xtwitter. Or Bluesky. Or any social network, really.

Watch live streams of briefings, speeches, and historic moments as they happen.

That would be Signal.

Dive into a dynamic media library packed with highlights.

That’s any righty news outlet. Or any lefty news outlet that posts Trump’s “highlights” mockingly.

Stay connected on the latest policy breakthroughs.

Again, that’s any social network. And “breakthroughs” doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Send your voice and feedback directly to the Administration.

Trump literally owns a social media network.

“Truth” Social doesn’t track location, though; the White House app does, and it reportedly shares that info with a third-party vendor every few minutes.

That location tracking was the first and most often repeated thing I heard about the White House app. (The second thing was that its code has the structural integrity of a dumpster-load of broken glass.)

Sure, some site called “Gadget Review” that I’ve never heard of called the location-tracking worry “overblown,” but that…

1. isn’t believable enough to be reassuring
2. may have been clickbait
3. may, in fact, have been written by a slop generator

I’ve heard elsewhere that it includes an ICE snitchline, which I wish surprised me.

I’ve also heard that it disables cookie banners, paywalls, and the like. That sounds like an actual feature (especially if you, like me, sometimes used archive.today to bypass some of that until recently)… but then you realize that you’d be confessing your Net reading habits to the Trump White House, which has an adversarial relationship to free speech. And that’s if it even works on sites of the user’s choosing, and not just curated propaganda…

In summary, this is exactly the type and quality of mobile app I’d expect the Assclown to provide, and I won’t be touching it with a ten-foot toilet brush.