Please, No One Tell the TSA About This


Frankfurt, Germany:

After completing the required manual check of the hand luggage, the police officers determined that the luggage did not contain any explosive material. However, the 49-year old passenger loosely transported several cosmetic articles in her hand luggage. The cosmetic articles were not packed in a transparent plastic bag, as required by EU and international regulations, and also exceeded the permitted allowance for liquids. As a solution, the officers suggested that the passenger store a roll-on deodorant item in her check-in luggage instead of her carry-on luggage – to remain within the allowance for liquids. Alternatively, she could voluntarily decide not to transport the deodorant and dispose of it on site.

The usual security theater, so far, including the usual farcically broad definition of “liquid.”

The U.S. passenger reacted angrily towards these suggestions and became increasingly uncooperative. She began to insult the Federal Police officers, by calling them, among other names, “fucking bastards” and “fucking German Nazi police”, as witnesses can confirm.

The expected response from a victim of said security theater. If they aren’t saying it out loud, they’re thinking it.

She was then brought to the police office, where the local State Police started a preliminary investigation on suspicion of defamation.

That’s different. In America, contempt of cop is usually called something else, like “disorderly conduct” or “resisting arrest.”

She had to make a deposit of $260 for the anticipated costs of the legal proceedings, as determined by the responsible public prosecutor. After payment of the deposit, the passenger was told that she could continue on her trip to Istanbul, Turkey.

So she wasn’t jailed for calling a cop names. I assume the cop is proud of his restraint and forbearance.

Subsequently, the U.S. traveler claims on her Twitter channel and via an Internet blog to have been robbed by the police in Frankfurt.

How dare she! That wasn’t robbery! That was extortion.

She also continues to insult the Federal Police officers and the security staff as “bully” and “thugs in uniform”, among other things. These insults have also become evidence in the preliminary investigations.

That was the official police press release, by the way. USA Today explains why Germans are touchy enough about the word “Nazi” to respond with governmental force, but it doesn’t note the irony of thin-skinned authoritarians using their authority to punish people who call them a certain kind of authoritarian.

Via Adam Steinbaugh.

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