And a happy Vote Week to you, too!


Election Day is the high holy day of the statist faith, and the week before it (at least on even-numbered years) is when statists are commanded to proselytize to heathens like me. Their message is everywhere:

“Get out and vote!”

“This is the most important election of our lifetimes! Even more important than all the other times we said that!”

“It isn’t that hard, you whiner. We’ve made it really convenient for you to express you desire to be ruled. So vote!”

“People fought and died for the right to subjugate their neighbors, you ingrate. The least you could do is try to subjugate your neighbors, now that it’s easy for you.”

“Get out there and vote!”

“If you don’t vote, you don’t have the right to complain when our rulers screw you over. No, you can’t vote on whether they screw you over, silly! They’ll decide that once the election is over and they don’t need your approval for a few years. It’ll be fine, though. They promised.”

“Go vote! It’s your civic duty! You owe your rulers a show of support!”

“If you don’t vote, our rulers will kill me and my friends. So vote my way, and maybe they’ll kill people I don’t know instead.”

“If you don’t vote, you might as well not have the right to vote, and never mind whether anyone or anything on the ballot is worth voting for.”

“Politician X and Party A are evil, horrible, and despicable. You should vote for Politician Y and Party B, who I think might be microscopically less evil.”

“So get out there and vote!”

“Vote!”

“Vote!”

“Vote!”

And my favorite, because of its sheer eloquence:

“VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW VOTE TOMORROW”

Imagine these randomly cluttering up my Twitter feed for the past week, even more repetitive and less persuasive than I’ve described, and you might be able to guess what I won’t be doing today.

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