The latest “Did You Know” bulletin reads, in part:

I would ask that one person at the beginning of each shift go out and check the lot for any black ice or piles of snow that would be a tripping hazard for our customers not to mention coworkers. This walk around should be recorded on the Winter Conditions Log by the Associate that does the walk around. […] Very important to record it in the log completely with all columns filled in. This is a directive from our RDO Doug Abernathy.

Yes, I’m sure this is a very important program to start in the middle of March, in addition to the other reasons the weather log is a complete waste of time.

The day I saw this, I was sorely tempted to reply in writing:

• Weather Conditions: sunny
• Temp.: 40
• Shoveled or Salted Sidewalks: no, it was sunny and 40
• Shoveled or Salted Tank Farm: no, it was sunny and 40
• Shoveled or Salted Fuel Dispenser Area: no, it was sunny and 40
• Plow Truck Action Taken: no, it was sunny and 40

Or maybe just look up the formatting for LMGTFY links and scrawl one across the chart.

I’ve decided, though, after asking the store manager how much sarcasm Doug expects in response to this “directive” and getting an amused “none” in response, to just ignore the weather log for as long as possible. Apparently, so has everyone else, because no one has written a line in it since.

I still want to know whether middle management is trying to desensitize us to pointless paperwork or is just this gobsmackingly stupid.