I didn’t quite get around to posting this yesterday, but I just wanted to add my good wishes to all the others you probably received yesterday, and I hope the tree you planted grows tall and healthy.

…

What, really? Arbor Day was last week? Americans were supposed to be celebrating the union movement or nationalism or some other excuse for hierarchy yesterday?

I should pay more attention to the calendar.

But seriously, though, you should have been planting a tree instead. Or dancing around a pole, or a bonfire, or whatever the local spring ritual is. Those are generally nonsense but also generally harmless… unless you try to jump over the fire and fall short, or something, but even then it’s only harmful or embarrassing to you and isn’t meant to drum up support for tyrannical asshats like some other May 1 holidays I could name.