13. We have always been at war with tap water


“Just so you know, we don’t have ice water at the moment, because the fruit punch tap is leaking into that one and it’s coming out a little pink.”

(This sounds more plausible if you know that fruit punch, water, and two other things are sharing one soda-fountain nozzle, and if you’ve already developed a deep and abiding scorn for this business’ appliances in general.)

A couple days later, when I asked about it:

“We’ve never not had tap water. It was just a little bit of red dye.”

Both of those statements were from the same assistant manager, who I’ve described before as “only slightly unreliable.”

And this was right before we officially discontinued fruit punch, to be replaced with another flavor… but they don’t seem in any hurry with that new flavor.

It used to surprise me when I caught management withholding info from the workers for no apparent good reason.

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