5. I might have found Burrito Bill’s nephew

An early Customer of the Day contender, though a weak one:

“I’d like a breakfast burrito.”

“Sorry, but this location opens at 10:30, so we don’t have a breakfast menu.”

“But I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes!”

And? We just opened. If you pulled up and parked in the drive-thru ten minutes before we opened so you could avoid having to wait behind someone, then that was your choice. If you misjudged how long it would take to get here, or if you didn’t know when we opened, that’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t make the thing you want appear on our menu.

Also, how hard did you avoid looking at the menu board? In that ten minutes you’re complaining about — which, by your tone of voice, you spent staring at your phone’s clock — did you not wonder if the prices had changed, or if there were any new specials, and realize that nothing on the board resembled a breakfast menu?

Or did you think I was lying for some unguessable reason, and that I’d “remember” the breakfast menu if you whined at me a little?

“We still don’t have a breakfast menu” is what I said aloud.

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